i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
That's how pantless uber rides happen
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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