Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
