I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Randomize
