Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
