It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
