I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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