Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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