break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I am mentally ready for anal.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
