I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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