MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
