I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
