Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
