so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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