That's intense
thus making me awesome and them whores
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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