Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
