nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
