I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
