its not stalking. its research.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
