So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
don't judge my taste in strippers
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
