Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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