I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
No...this little piggys going to the bar
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Randomize
