two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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