Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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