i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
