Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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