you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
