stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Come share oat with me in your robe
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