were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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