Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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