oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
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All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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