he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
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