i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
