Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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