this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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