I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
