just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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