Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
