I am spending my child support on dildos
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize