he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
