im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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