So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
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He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
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There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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