you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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