made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize