so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
