guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
