There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
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