i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
