Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
