there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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