woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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