Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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