That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
