New low: just hacked my moms facebook
please come you make the beer taste better
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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