READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
