My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
