Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
True college students do jello shots in the library
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
