My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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