Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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