dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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