I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
