I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
