Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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