Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
