Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize