Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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