she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just pee around me
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
