I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
